Good in Goodbye
by rosaxx50
Summary: Six short glimpses into Adrian and Sydney's lives - past, present, and achingly possible future. Adrian/Sydney


_when she was just a girl / she expected the world_ – **Paradise, **Coldplay

* * *

Her father's eyes are hard, disapproving. His brows are creased; his hands clenched into fists.

If Sydney were the sort to brush off fear with a casual joke, she'd say she was surprised those lines haven't become permanent yet. She's really not.

"What, exactly, did you mean to achieve?" Jared Sage asks.

A smile? A congratulations?

"Success," Sydney says, the chemicals a multicoloured mess sinking into the floor. A wisp of smoke curls around her ankle.

He accepts this as an answer.

She did not mean what he thought she did.

It is her fourth, fifth time maybe, living through a scene like this - what she wants, what she gets, never the same. She'll live through twenty more.

* * *

_do you dream / that the world will know your name?_ – **Angels on the Moon**, Thriving Ivory

* * *

Adrian's never really wanted to be famous.

All right, maybe a little bit. Simple dreams for a simple guy. But being famous, well, that's rather different from being _known_.

Adrian is already famous. His name rolls through conversations carrying wisps of smoke, the burn of liquor, the heat of a party spinning out of control.

Known. That's another thing all together. The women and men who smile enigmatically during conversations, who chatter like they're sincere though he sees the vicious lies in their aura, they do not know him - though he's never made an effort to hide who he is, really.

He wants someone who'll see through him precisely, though the thought terrifies him.

He thinks maybe Rose will do that; she's just about strong enough to steamroll through his shields without a thought.

But her eyes are cast elsewhere.

The pain might well be the same as the knowledge that he'll be lost one day, the auras consuming his world - then he sees gold.

* * *

_if i never loved you / if i never felt your kiss / if i never had you, i know that i / i still would have mourned you_ – **Shouldn't Be a Good in Goodbye**, Jason Walker

* * *

"I don't choose you."

He stays alone, breathing hard in the most shocking revelation he's had dumped on him all day, and of _course_ he would be focusing on her words, and not everything they learned about the Alchemists and hunters beforehand. She had forgotten it already, he tells himself, without conviction, because Adrian had seen her eyes when she walked away.

The funny thing is, Adrian had been terrified of telling her, until that one mindless moment when he'd let his instincts take over. Sydney's the best friend he's ever had, and he had known it would kill him to lose her - even if they'd never kissed, even if he hadn't dreamed of her, with her aura of gold and violet and the sun in her eyes. If he hadn't cared for their friendship, telling her wouldn't have left him with such a clenching heart, when the words came out. Wouldn't hurt so much now.

But she's gone.

And her goodbye lingers, except there was no good in it.

* * *

_i'll get you through it nice and slow / when the world's spinning out of control_. – **Soldier, **Gavin DeGraw

* * *

Adrian's hold on his emotions is slipping, so much that the world of his dreams is flickering in and out in a way that makes even him nauseous.

It worries him that Sydney doesn't even seem to notice - and not just because she's pressed so close, he feels every curve, every shuddering breath. He brings a hand up, fingers running through the silk of her hair, making soothing noises. Maybe she'll even respond this time.

If she doesn't - he'll come back again and again until she responds. Until her eyes take in the world; until that awful, chalky blankness of re-education fades away and she's herself again. He refuses to entertain the thought that she'll never recover.

He's never been anything but persistent, and there isn't much he wouldn't do for her.

* * *

'_cause you belong with me / not swallowed by the sea_ – **Swallowed in the Sea**, Coldplay

* * *

"You can't keep this a secret forever," Adrian murmurs into her hair.

Sydney doesn't want to hear it. She tightens her arms, pressing her face into his chest. He smells like clove and the faintest hint of smoke - as though he'd quit for her.

"I know you think it's easy for me to say," he continues.

"It's not your life on the line," Sydney mutters.

His hands, ghost-like on her cheek. He traces her tattoo like it's something precious, though he does the... Adrian equivalent of hissing and spitting, when he sees it on someone else. "I know. But someone's going to find out. Better that we decide when, right?"

Sydney tries to suggest that they break it off; the words catch in her throat.

She wouldn't be able to do it - she doesn't want to be anywhere but here, can't imagine, for even a second, being somewhere without him.

"Maybe," she says, and that's the greatest concession he'll get from her.

* * *

_and it's peaceful in the deep / cathedral where you cannot sleep_ – **Never Let Me Go**, Florence & the Machine

* * *

"You shouldn't have done that," Sydney says, but there isn't much conviction behind it.

Adrian doesn't even look at her. He had kissed her again. He had brought her to the first place he made her laugh, had let the golf course and its ponds - silver in the moonlight - provide a backdrop, and they had kissed, but he doesn't look now.

She doesn't know what he was thinking. This isn't a game.

"You shouldn't have kissed me back," Adrian says, sardonic.

Sydney looks out over the water, the silver grass, and says nothing.

She's leaving tomorrow, she knows, with a shiver.

She doesn't want him to follow, except he might.


End file.
